The stuff that kept me up at night was the amount of “parenting” kids seemed to require. And yes, I get it that rearing takes a lot out of you, but having grown up around horses, I don’t shy away from hard work. Neither of us felt that we were on secure ground financially or emotionally to take charge of any kind of offspring when we got married. I was raised by a single mom, he was raised by a widowed single mom and extended family. Though I was 110% sure of my decision to legally commit myself to another person at just twenty-two, I felt I wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of someone who was completely dependant on me. People were more concerned with the having of children, than with the raising of them.īut my concern was specifically with what came after the first nine months of the process. Later, in a different country with a more individualistic culture, the revelation that I was already married as a 20-something was inevitably followed by, “Do you have kids?” and “Are you gonna have them soon?”. (The term family planning doesn’t exist in their patriarchy indoctrinated dictionary.) I got married at 22, and before that year was out my deeply traditional, profoundly religious in-laws were convinced that I was barren. You see, I spent the first decade of my marriage fending off questions about children. This was the book that convinced me that I can handle having kids.
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